Day 17 - good one

Hello :)

I am in front of my laptop, trying to write something here, but my eyes hurt from fatigue so I will make it quick.

After I took Munja for a night walk and gave myself a bath, I made quick protein dinner and sat here to check the web. Before that I went to Pilates class to which I went to and from - rollerblading! The season is officially open and I enjoyed it so much. Plus, I wanted the sweat, and since Pilates is not something that will give it to me, I decided to enhance today's physical activity by rollerblading. It made me feel so good!

Before I went to Pilates, I meditated for half an hour which was quite enough. Munja interrupted me at some point, she put her head in my energy ball between my hands and started licking my fingers. I am going to have to do something about it, I didn't like being interrupted like this.

Prior to meditation I was finishing some bureaucratic work, went searching and shopping for some parts I need for a chair I am redesigning. I didn't find everything I need but I found a way of solving a problem.I took Munja with me and I bought her new leash and collar. That is her bit late birthday present :)

I was semi productive today at work and I guess I'm gonna have to try a little harder tomorrow.

Woke up late. Very late.

So now I'm going to bed earlier cause tomorrow I want to work harder.

'Night!

Days 15 and 16 - after the weekend of 13 and 14

Ok, I didn't write yesterday. I don't have an excuse, I just didn't feel like writing cause I was tired and concentration-less.

The day 15, Monday, was a happy day (like a happy hour, but longer). I spent the whole afternoon and evening with a good friend who lives abroad and whom I didn't see in a very long time, so I gave yesterday to her. I enjoyed the time spent with her immensely and I wish I could see more of her.

Before I met her I was very productive at work and I felt great about it.

Today was also good.

I came back from a long walk with Munja about hour and a half ago and I've been reading some articles up to now. I am all introspective these days and I have a feeling I need more and more of it since there are still questions that I don't know the answers to. Some of them are very important for me to answer in order to define my goals more precisely and in accordance with my true self and I need the time to think through them all. That is mostly what I spend my free time on these days.
I am wandering about this project of mine also. I was asking myself if what I think I want to achieve is really what my soul wants or is my ego making me do things. Today I made a list of things I am interested in (professionally or as a hobby) together with a list of things that motivate me to do them. I was actually not surprised with what I have found out and as much as I didn't like the truth, I had to be honest with myself. This is already too personal so I am not going to reveal more, but I think I came to some truths that are scaring the hell out of me and making me happy at the same time. It's rather confusing, but I think today I know more than I did yesterday so I am moving forward and toward my dreams. At least I think I am.

Before I took Munja for a night walk I read some more of those articles, asked myself questions and wrote some answers in my book. It's like self shrinking and I am actually enjoying it, but what I am afraid of is that I will spend too much time thinking and do no real action. On the other hand, I am afraid that I might make a bad decision if I force myself to make it faster just because the time is passing by, and there is this vicious circle I am in again. It's like that with me. I have to measure zillion times before I make a decision. But once I do, that is it!

It was all after I did some more of that boring work I do only for the money (talking about motives...). I got the money and comparing the amount of work I did with the amount of money I got for it - I can say it was a good deal. The money is tempting and I need it since my paycheck is late as always, but the work is boring as hell and I hate it and I am close to NOT WANTING TO DO IT ANYMORE!

Before that I went to my parents place for lunch and took Munja for a walk.

I came home from work earlier due to some meeting I didn't have to attend (thank God, again) and I was sent home. I felt like reading a book and that is what I did before I went to lunch.

I got up feeling good and I had a plan for today. But nothing went according to it. Bad plan or bad course of action? Maybe both?

'Till tomorrow,

cheers!