Day 17 - good one

Hello :)

I am in front of my laptop, trying to write something here, but my eyes hurt from fatigue so I will make it quick.

After I took Munja for a night walk and gave myself a bath, I made quick protein dinner and sat here to check the web. Before that I went to Pilates class to which I went to and from - rollerblading! The season is officially open and I enjoyed it so much. Plus, I wanted the sweat, and since Pilates is not something that will give it to me, I decided to enhance today's physical activity by rollerblading. It made me feel so good!

Before I went to Pilates, I meditated for half an hour which was quite enough. Munja interrupted me at some point, she put her head in my energy ball between my hands and started licking my fingers. I am going to have to do something about it, I didn't like being interrupted like this.

Prior to meditation I was finishing some bureaucratic work, went searching and shopping for some parts I need for a chair I am redesigning. I didn't find everything I need but I found a way of solving a problem.I took Munja with me and I bought her new leash and collar. That is her bit late birthday present :)

I was semi productive today at work and I guess I'm gonna have to try a little harder tomorrow.

Woke up late. Very late.

So now I'm going to bed earlier cause tomorrow I want to work harder.

'Night!

Days 15 and 16 - after the weekend of 13 and 14

Ok, I didn't write yesterday. I don't have an excuse, I just didn't feel like writing cause I was tired and concentration-less.

The day 15, Monday, was a happy day (like a happy hour, but longer). I spent the whole afternoon and evening with a good friend who lives abroad and whom I didn't see in a very long time, so I gave yesterday to her. I enjoyed the time spent with her immensely and I wish I could see more of her.

Before I met her I was very productive at work and I felt great about it.

Today was also good.

I came back from a long walk with Munja about hour and a half ago and I've been reading some articles up to now. I am all introspective these days and I have a feeling I need more and more of it since there are still questions that I don't know the answers to. Some of them are very important for me to answer in order to define my goals more precisely and in accordance with my true self and I need the time to think through them all. That is mostly what I spend my free time on these days.
I am wandering about this project of mine also. I was asking myself if what I think I want to achieve is really what my soul wants or is my ego making me do things. Today I made a list of things I am interested in (professionally or as a hobby) together with a list of things that motivate me to do them. I was actually not surprised with what I have found out and as much as I didn't like the truth, I had to be honest with myself. This is already too personal so I am not going to reveal more, but I think I came to some truths that are scaring the hell out of me and making me happy at the same time. It's rather confusing, but I think today I know more than I did yesterday so I am moving forward and toward my dreams. At least I think I am.

Before I took Munja for a night walk I read some more of those articles, asked myself questions and wrote some answers in my book. It's like self shrinking and I am actually enjoying it, but what I am afraid of is that I will spend too much time thinking and do no real action. On the other hand, I am afraid that I might make a bad decision if I force myself to make it faster just because the time is passing by, and there is this vicious circle I am in again. It's like that with me. I have to measure zillion times before I make a decision. But once I do, that is it!

It was all after I did some more of that boring work I do only for the money (talking about motives...). I got the money and comparing the amount of work I did with the amount of money I got for it - I can say it was a good deal. The money is tempting and I need it since my paycheck is late as always, but the work is boring as hell and I hate it and I am close to NOT WANTING TO DO IT ANYMORE!

Before that I went to my parents place for lunch and took Munja for a walk.

I came home from work earlier due to some meeting I didn't have to attend (thank God, again) and I was sent home. I felt like reading a book and that is what I did before I went to lunch.

I got up feeling good and I had a plan for today. But nothing went according to it. Bad plan or bad course of action? Maybe both?

'Till tomorrow,

cheers!

Day 12 - I love fridays

So it's quarter to 3am and I'm super sleepy.

Before I sat down in front of computer to read some psychological articles (it was around 10pm) I took Munja for a long walk. We usually have long walks in the evening but this one was specially long. First, she needed it since she was full of energy today and secondly, I felt like walking after sitting on my but the whole day.
We made a tour to the city center, then went to the river, sat there a bit, smoked a cigarette and watched young seagulls (or rivergulls?) play just above the surface. She was surprisingly calm considering the birds being  so close, but still she is a smart girl, she knows they are out of her reach, so she didn't ignite the fire. Then some guy came to us with his pitbull called Serb (!) asking for a lighter. I found the name for a dog very odd, but I figured out that if I start a conversation about it it will take me to a discussion I didn't really want. I decided we are going to go back home walking by the river but then something made me want to run. I don't really like that sport and I never, ever do it. I find it boring and I go rollerblading instead. But I felt like running tonight so I let myself run. Munja was running beside me and of course she liked it. Since I'm not in a condition to run a long distance, I cut it to 200 m and then walked 200 m...and so we passed about 1.5 km. I didn't feel so good in a long time and I have to say I really missed the sweat. So I decided that from next week, I'm gonna spend more time being physical.

In the afternoon I worked.

In the morning I let myself sleep longer since I went to bed really late last night.

I woke up happy and I'm going to bed happy. I love Fridays.


Have a good weekend,

Cheers!

Day 11 - Having fun working

Today was one good day :)

Half an hour ago I had finished the work (on this project of mine) for today. It's slowly moving and I'm happy about it. I feel good after working the whole day. It really IS liberating.

I made a break giving Munja a shower. She doesn't like it as much as she likes rubbing her coat with a towel, but she absolutely hates hot-air-drying. She gets scared, more of the sound than anything else and I have to calm her down like a baby every time. She managed to escape from my hands in the middle of it and hide underneath the bed collecting the dust. That was nice. Didn't want to come out until I totally ignored her for half an hour. And here she is now all fresh and clean and bit confused in my bed :)

Munja's favorite sitting position

I said I worked the whole day and the thing I like most about it is that I really enjoyed it. I guess this boring work that I had to do at the beginning of the week was a true downer and  that made this one so much more appealing. AM part of the day I spent on the site and the PM part in front of a computer and it's a balance of different working environments and focuses that is working good for me.

I managed to have a coffee with friends and take Munja for a long walk to and from her vet, where I buy food for her (she eats this special kind of granulated food since her guts operation in October last year), between works out and inside. 

She was almost hysterical there, I guess she has had enough of that space, but this was the first time she's behaved like that. She begged me to go out, whimpering and giving me The Look. Luckily, we didn't stay long and she was happy again just outside the door. Some really nice people work at that ordination and I like seeing them and chatting but this time it was impossible.

After I woke up at half past seven, ON MY OWN!, I took Munja for a quick walk and went to the registrar to BUY two peaces of paper that prove my birth and citizenship for something like 12 euros and it's all taxes and it pisses me off.  I read somewhere that there are more that 400 different taxes in Serbia and they are sky high for a low economical standard like this one here. I see it as country's legal way of robbing people to pay huge and unnecessary administration which works slowly anyway, or more-than-it's-worth for whatever can smear your eyes to look good. It just raged me this morning! But the Sun was shining and the day was too good to be ruined by politics so I didn't let it.

Till tomorrow,

Cheers!

Day 10 - Tird of the time passed

So it's half past 11pm and I'm getting ready for bed.

Last couple of hours I spent in a deep and meaningful conversation with a dear friend. I did not meditate, did not study anything, but the knowledge about matters that are important to me I gained in this conversation is priceless.

Before that I worked on my project for 4 hours after I came back from my daily job. I even cooked today. In the meantime I was arranging some meetings for tomorrow and solved some dilemmas I had with my accountant. I also updated my photo blog .

Sometimes it's hard to say if a day like this was productive or not. Maybe not so much in a sense of the quantity of work I did, but considering the quality of time I spent in that conversation I don't really mind that I didn't work so hard.

True, I could have organized my time better today and manage to squeeze everything in a day, but today it just wasn't the case. Again.

I am still not consistent enough...

Tomorrow will be more.


Good night.

Day 9 - Upsidedown day

I didn't write last night, at the end of the ninth day, but I'm writting now, at the beginning of the tenth. 

Must say that there is nothing much to write as I was feeling not so good yesterday and wasn't able to do much. 

Didn't go to work, I read some psychological articles and meditated a bit. In the afternoon I somehow managed to do some of that boring work for couple of hours and then went to a friends place for a dinner and a movie. And it kinda saved this horible and boring day.

There.

Day 8 (after the weekend of 6 an 7) - work and pleasure

Hey, hey, a new week has begun! And it started well ;)

I spent my weekend being a bit busy and a bit resting and there was this pleasure trip to Belgrade yesterday which prolonged to today. So this day was totally out of the plan but I got to be productive at the end but that is not so much important in comparison to what I've learned yesterday.

Sometimes when you get off the road and let yourself do things you didn't plan to do - it turns out you've spent a more quality time than you would otherwise. Hanging out with interesting and smart people is always rewarding and yesterday spontaneously happened that I had a valuable art lesson from one of the most creative people I know, while looking at and commenting on some great photos a friend took, as well as listening to his comments of the photos I took that day. I also learned something more about myself and all those things kept me awake till morning. I can say it was one of the best days I had in months!

So I was in Belgrade for the bigger part of the day today and when I came home a lot of work waited for me. Boring work, but it brings some extra cash and I need it now so can't really refuse to do it.

Now that I have finished it, I feel like the day is practically over (it's 11pm) and it's time for bed.

ps. I miss meditating today...

Cheers!